


Feathered Serpent

by sunaddicted



Series: Riddlebird Week 2k18 [5]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Penguins, Pets, Riddlerbird Week 2k18, Short & Sweet, Snakes, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-21 20:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14922668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunaddicted/pseuds/sunaddicted
Summary: “You..”“..love of your life?”Oswald snorted “I was going to say bastard”





	Feathered Serpent

**Author's Note:**

> I love snakes so, I obviously gave Edward one

_Feathered Serpent_

Over the decades, Oswald had almost gotten desensitized to anything that would have shocked him when he had been younger and somehow still convinced that there were limits that even the Rogues wouldn't cross - every passing year they seemed to outdo one another, though, and Oswald didn't actually have the mental strength to be surprised by whatever insane scheme they came up with.

So, when the Riddler walked inside the Lounge with a medium-sized snake - longer than it was big, which was mildly reassuring - wrapped around his wrist, Oswald just sighed and poured the last of his champagne in his glass and leaned back against his seat, surveilling the other man's journey throughout the club.

He hoped for the other's sake that the snake wasn't poisonous or Oswald would skin him alive and sell his organs on the black market - he'd done it before, he knew exactly what he was onto.  

“Tell me you didn't steal it from the zoo"

At the greeting, Edward rolled his eyes and took a seat next to the Penguin “It's an Opheodrys vernalis, perfectly legal to purchase” he offered to the other man, completely unbothered as the snake slithered up his arm and settled around his neck to soak up as much warmth as possible “His name is Quetzalcoatl"

Oswald arched an eyebrow “The Feathered Serpent, you always loved your mythology”

“Pot. Kettle" Edward pointed out with a bright grin.  

He couldn't really deny it; Oswald shrugged and peered at the snake with curiosity, both intrigued and vaguely nauseated: he'd never been a reptiles fan “I'll call it Feathers, if that's the same for you”

“Be my guest” he knew that Oswald would have called his pet however he liked, anyway.

And the name he had chosen was kind of a mouthful, Edward was aware of that.  

“So, why did you get a snake? It seems.. out of the blue”

“I've always wanted one since I was a kid” Edward admitted, index finger petting the bright green scales, careful of not going against the grain “They're such fascinating creatures”

“I'll stick to my penguins” Oswald nodded in approval at the waiter who brought them fresh drinks unbidden: a glass of dark red wine and a startingly neon green Grasshopper - he'd need to have a word with the barista and ask her what exactly she used to achieve that result “Aren't you scared that it will strangle you in your sleep or bite you?”

“He obviously stays in the terrarium, I take him out only for cuddles and trips” Edward answered “Smooth green snakes are non-venomous and they tend to hide when they're scared, instead of attacking"

“I'm extremely happy to see you've done your research and didn't adopt the first snake that blinked in your direction”

Oswald was even happier at the knowledge that he wouldn't find a snake in bed with them when they spent the night at Edward's; he could imagine few things that would give him a stroke and kill him on the spot, but being woken up by a snake slithering along his body in the middle of the night definitely would do it.  

The thought was enough to make him shiver. 

“Snakes can't blink”

Oswald rolled his eyes “You know what I meant”

Edward gently unwound Quetzalcoatl from around his neck and let him curl in his palm, so that he could show him better to Oswald “Come on, he's completely harmless. I promise”

“You want me to touch it?”

“I pet your penguins”

“My penguins are fuzzy balls of joy"

“Give him a chance. For me. Please” Edward pouted, turning his brown eyes on Oswald with that look he knew melted the older man's heart “Besides everyone will know that you've been too chicken to hold a snake if you refuse” he added mischievously.

“You..”

“..love of your life?”

Oswald snorted “I was going to say bastard”

Edward was sure that anyone else would have been offended by that answer but it only tickled a smile out of him, easily reading past Oswald's gruff exterior: the man was a bleeding heart - a man softer than he would have liked to be “I love you too” Edward said “Now give me your hand”

“It's not going to bite me, right?” 

Edward shook his head “I promise” he murmured as he nudged Quetzalcoatl to slide onto Oswald's trembling fingers “Relax”

“It's cool" 

“Snakes are cold-blooded animals”

“Isn't the Lounge too cold for Feathers, then?” 

“A bit” Edward nodded, gloved thumb caressing Oswald's hand in comfort “He's going for your neck, in fact”

It was a weird feeling: the snake was sleek and powerful, it moved slowly but Oswald didn't delude himself that it could become incredibly fast if need be “Ed..”

Edward slid to sit closer to the other man “It's okay, Oswald” he put the glass in his lover's hand “Drink and breathe, you won't even notice that he's there after a while” 

“Why couldn't you get a dog?” Oswald muttered.

“You hate dogs”

Well - it wasn't a lie.  Oswald sighed and rigidly leaned against Edward's side, tensing when the snake moved and burrowed under the collar of his shirt “You're lucky I love you”


End file.
